Thursday, June 28, 2012

Rich Folks, They Crazy

Proud to Be Normal

My wife and I get an odd mix of magazines --- most it seems we never signed up for --- and as a consequence see ads very much intended for non-Antelope Valley audiences.

Reading Elle Decor, for example, can be quite a tour.  Not to sound like somebody planning to write a sequel to "You Know You're a Redneck If...", but some of the featured properties and furnishings make me think, "Lordy, you would have to PAY me to live in a place like that!"  Are all rich folks crazy, or don't they ever sit in the same living rooms being photographed?

Look at some examples.

Here's an ad from the Art Institute of Chicago's members' magazine.  Nice sofa, but what's with tagging your own penthouse white walls?  And I don't even understand the message itself.

Some things are just strange.

I get the allusion to the uber-collectable Jeff Koons, but really, is this chair for real?  (This comes from the high-end magazine, Architectural Digest.)

Maybe you would want to sit in while you watch a friend or private chef make your lunch.  This too comes from AD.

This is an ad for skylights, by the way, but it implies what one's kitchen should look like.  In comparison, my life is pretty drab!  My main question at Trader Joe's is who I will run into that I know, since apparently ALL of the AVC faculty (and half the students) shop there.  Maybe when I am there I need to get a different brand of wine.  Here's a white wine ad, though you might think it's for a stronger kind of potion.

This is an ad from Elle Decor for Kim Crawford wine.  The copy reads, "A bright, refreshing take on Sauvingnon Blanc.  Because there are those who find comfort in the ordinary, then there are those who thirst for so much more."  (The headline is, "Undo Ordinary.") 

Note the hands, far right, pushing the lady in the swing; this is such a fun party that even the painting, Harry Potter-style, is getting into the mood.  Yet our Elvis Costello look-alike in the white chair on the left looks a bit zoned out ---- a long day at work, or is this just "chaos like normal" for him?  I went online and priced this wine and since it's under $20 (I think?), it seems reasonable.  It's a New Zealand wine, and in fact, I think I had some a year ago, coming back from Antarctica.  According to their website, they have gotten good reviews.  They link to an article from which this quotation comes:

"You say you need more enticement to part with your hard earned cash? How about descriptors such as elegant, complex, rich, outstanding, mouth-watering, brimming with flavour, exceptional wine and amazing value? These are the adjectives the world wine press used to describe Kim Crawford Sauvignon Blanc 2009."

Yes, but does it go with food that a magician has set on fire?  How about white swing sets?  Rich folks, they crazy.  Of course, for me, to take the wine out of the paper bag before serving it counts as "presentation."  Is this a wine to drink in an all-metal chair that looks like a sex aid from Woody Allen's Sleeper?  If I drink it, will I start spray painting my apartment?

This is all too much for me.  Pass the two-buck Chuck from Trader Joe's.


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